Why? Why? Why?!!!!

Such a question is asked in many a circumstance in life. And I am asking it now.

My one of my little sisters just got an infection on her face. It will probably leave a scar.

Why does this have to happen to such a beautiful girl? Why?! It should have happened to someone who was already ugly. If they were ugly anyway, a bit of defacement wouldn't matter so much. Then there wouldn't be any poetic loss.

I have the most luscious hair. It shines, it flows, it sparkles.

Some people have told me that I should cut and donate it. Isn't it so nice of them to think of giving away my hair for me? That previous sentence, of course, was about as drenched in sarcasm as my two year old sister's pancake was in syrup when she poured it on herself this morning.

Ridding the world of the alluring image of my glowing face bordered by my equally astonishing hair? Is that doing anyone a favor?

New Approuch

I have told you previously that I have made it my duty to break apart couples that are dancing inappropriately close to each other at the youth dances. I have changed my approach. I no longer do this myself.

Now, I crowd around them and start chanting "KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!" And if they do, I shout "WHOOOO! OH YEAH!"

This way, the chaperons at the dances know that they need to start doing their job better.