Oh, mother of mine!

"Hey mom, can I go to Forks?"

"Um, why do you want to go to Forks?"

"Because that's where Edward Cullen lives!"

"I thought that you didn't like Twilight. Wasn't it just yesterday when you were making fun of Amber for liking it? What were your words exactly? Oh yes, I remember. 'Mom, Amber is an insolent fool for continually turning the subject of our discourses to Twilight.'"

"I find it very aggravating that you're hastily forming the conclusion that I am now a fan of something I loathe simply based on the fact that I desire to go to Forks because that is the place where Edward dwells. No, I want to go to Forks because I plan to capture Edward! Honestly, mother, haven't you been keeping up on my blog?"

"Um, right. That taking over the world thing. Sweetie, you know that Edward isn't real, right?"

"Of course he's real. I've seen pictures of him."

"You mean you've seen pictures of Robert Pattinson, the actor. You know, he was Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire?"

"How dare you even associate anything related to Twilight with a masterpiece like Harry Potter! Besides, I'm homeschooled. Do you really expect me to know these celebrity names and such?"

"No really, here, I'll show you."

So then my mom got on the internet and showed me pictures of this Pattinson guy. And yes, he is Edward and was Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. 

Part of being humble is admitting what one is incapable of. And you know how humble I am, so I'll admit it. I cannot capture Edward.

Besides from the fact that he's fictional, I'm too scared of him to do such a thing. Kind of like how I'm too scared to say that I don't like the actor who plays the Phantom in the movie Phantom of the Opera because he's scary! He'll like, hunt me down or something. I saw him do it to people in the movie.

Although I do have respect for mercilessly dealing with one's enemies...

I read somewhere that being able to distinguish fiction from reality is part of mental health. I can't think of anyone who's mentally healthier than me!

Comment: Gerald Butler's not the Phantom! He's a Phantom pretender!