I was in a bad mood, so I got onto YouTube to lift my spirits. I looked up the Christmas Shoes song to read the comments on the music video. I rue that song and reading my fellow haters comments would lift my spirits.
What I read quiet surprised me. Turns out, some sickos actually like that song! How depressing! There I was, anticipating messages of unfathomable loathing, but was faced with comments like "Love this song so much makes me bawl my eyes out every time really feeling christmas spirit now" and "I love the guts out of this." Now I have a headache from reading the poorly punctuated comments and my spirits weren't lifted at all.
To make myself feel good, I commented on the video. They were comments like. "My heart is a bottle root beer and it is the root beer of hatred! And this song is shaking that root beer insomuch that it is about to EXPLODE!!!" And "This song is like a waffle with syrup, whip cream, ice cream, strawberries, butter, fried butter, crushed pop tarts, bacon bits, and chocolate on it."
Feeling christmas spirit now!
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Issues
So I've discussed earlier about how people have issues with Disney princesses and their movies. They say that the stories depict women as "weak" and are not good influences for girls.
But the princesses are all hard workers. They clean houses very well. And they all have a sweet demeanor. These are good traits.
What's the big deal, anyway? Is Shakespeare to be banned from schools because Romeo isn't a good role model for boys?
I like the way that Disney adapted the stories. Why take issue with the movie Cinderella when in her original story her step-sisters gruesomely tried to...never mind. I won't say it. Let's just say that they were pretty darn desperate to fit into that slipper.
But the princesses are all hard workers. They clean houses very well. And they all have a sweet demeanor. These are good traits.
What's the big deal, anyway? Is Shakespeare to be banned from schools because Romeo isn't a good role model for boys?
I like the way that Disney adapted the stories. Why take issue with the movie Cinderella when in her original story her step-sisters gruesomely tried to...never mind. I won't say it. Let's just say that they were pretty darn desperate to fit into that slipper.
Love Plots
There are 5 basic love plots:
Love at first sight. This love scenario has been banned from storytelling ever since parents decided that it was "unrealistic" or whatever. They are complaining that the old Disney princess movies are bad models for children because they teach them that people can fall in love on the spot. Love at first sight is OK by me because some stories have too much action and don't have time to deal with how the two characters fell in love. Which would you rather watch, Prince Philip fight a dragon, or him slowly easing into a relationship with Aurora and dealing with his increasingly romantic feelings for her? Watch cool French Revolution battle scenes with amazing character development, or watch Cozete and Marius discovering their love for each other after their fiftieth date? Think about priorities! Just wrap all the falling in love stuff in a song and call it good.
Forbidden love. This often includes an unwanted arranged marriage.
Hate turning into love. Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice was the pioneer in chic flicks. You know, the rich guy, the free spirited girl, and they hate each other. Or in this first case, the girl hates the guy. Anyway, they hate and are annoyed with each other, and somehow they eventually fall in love.
And then there's the love triangle. In some cases, a character has to choose between the other two people in the triangle. But someone is always the odd one out.
I watched a recording of The Phantom of the Opera performed at Albert Hall. At the end, fifty something year old Sarah Brightmen sang the title song. For those of you uncultured buffoons who don't know who she is, she's the original Christine. Singing with her were four actors who played the part of the Phantom many, many years ago.
It made me think. Love triangles are old. But what about a love hexagon? Why not have four Phantoms? Who are all in love with Christine?
I can just see it:
"Sing, my angel of music!"
"Sing for ME!"
"No, sing for MEEEEE!."
"No, me!"
"Ach! Not that high! That note hurts my ears!"
Ummm, how about no. One physio, deranged villain is quite enough.
Love at first sight. This love scenario has been banned from storytelling ever since parents decided that it was "unrealistic" or whatever. They are complaining that the old Disney princess movies are bad models for children because they teach them that people can fall in love on the spot. Love at first sight is OK by me because some stories have too much action and don't have time to deal with how the two characters fell in love. Which would you rather watch, Prince Philip fight a dragon, or him slowly easing into a relationship with Aurora and dealing with his increasingly romantic feelings for her? Watch cool French Revolution battle scenes with amazing character development, or watch Cozete and Marius discovering their love for each other after their fiftieth date? Think about priorities! Just wrap all the falling in love stuff in a song and call it good.
Forbidden love. This often includes an unwanted arranged marriage.
Hate turning into love. Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice was the pioneer in chic flicks. You know, the rich guy, the free spirited girl, and they hate each other. Or in this first case, the girl hates the guy. Anyway, they hate and are annoyed with each other, and somehow they eventually fall in love.
And then there's the love triangle. In some cases, a character has to choose between the other two people in the triangle. But someone is always the odd one out.
I watched a recording of The Phantom of the Opera performed at Albert Hall. At the end, fifty something year old Sarah Brightmen sang the title song. For those of you uncultured buffoons who don't know who she is, she's the original Christine. Singing with her were four actors who played the part of the Phantom many, many years ago.
It made me think. Love triangles are old. But what about a love hexagon? Why not have four Phantoms? Who are all in love with Christine?
I can just see it:
"Sing, my angel of music!"
"Sing for ME!"
"No, sing for MEEEEE!."
"No, me!"
"Ach! Not that high! That note hurts my ears!"
Ummm, how about no. One physio, deranged villain is quite enough.
Improvements
I've been thinking, as always. This time I was pondering about The Phantom of the Opera musical. Can you conjure up ways that they could make that musical even better?
First of all, I can't help but think that the Phantom needs a comical sidekick. Like a talking monkey! Those never get old! Oh, oh, wait! My powerful mind has produced an even better idea. Not a talking monkey, but a talking bird! The role can be played by the same voice actor who did that one parrot in Aladdin. It's genius!
That was all sarcasm. Just making sure you're awake. Surely you know that your future dictator finds such vermin loathable.
First of all, I can't help but think that the Phantom needs a comical sidekick. Like a talking monkey! Those never get old! Oh, oh, wait! My powerful mind has produced an even better idea. Not a talking monkey, but a talking bird! The role can be played by the same voice actor who did that one parrot in Aladdin. It's genius!
That was all sarcasm. Just making sure you're awake. Surely you know that your future dictator finds such vermin loathable.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Petitioning
I have decided to start a petition. The petition will convince the school board to put me at it's head. I believe that dominating my school district will be a crucial step to DOMINATING THE WORLD.
I took the petition to Harry Potter High. When I asked my fans to sign it, they all smiled and laughed and signed it. They're all so devoted! When ever I bring up my DOMINATING THE WORLD, their jubilance becomes too powerful to hold back and they express it with laughter! Isn't that something? Followers who laugh with joy at the very thought of my dictatorship!
I took the petition to Harry Potter High. When I asked my fans to sign it, they all smiled and laughed and signed it. They're all so devoted! When ever I bring up my DOMINATING THE WORLD, their jubilance becomes too powerful to hold back and they express it with laughter! Isn't that something? Followers who laugh with joy at the very thought of my dictatorship!
Thursday, November 8, 2012
I'm taking a stand against obesity!
Obesity is quite an issue in our society. You will all be comforted to know that I am taking a stand against it! First of all, my perfect figure serves as a role model to all!
Second of all, I help obese people-UGH! Obese is such a long word. Do I really have to wright it out every time? Why don't I just call them fatties? Anyway, I help fatties feel good about themselves. You will never hear me tell fat jokes or use derogatory, discriminatory terms to refer to them.
Speaking of derogatory, I'm sick of feeling discriminated against! Except for my followers, everyone labels dictators as "evil." Haven't they ever considered that dictating is a service to the world? And isn't it a bit too hasty to make generalizations about them when only so many of them have been corrupt? What about Caesar? If he weren't a decent guy, then why is his name used for marketing? He looks amiable enough on the pizza box and the salad dressing.
I also help fatties to accept themselves. Let's face it, nobody is as curvy and thin as I am! I help fatties accept this. By doing this, I save them a ton of stress.
Lastly, I help them to make good choices. There's a fatty in my church who is well, fat. But she's super nice and pious! She never misses an opportunity to serve others. Recently, she helped me on a project for my online school. She put so much effort into helping me succeed! So I decided to make some cookies and give them to her. After some afterthought, I decided against it. This lady really doesn't need more food. What kind of ruthless human being would tempt her with delectable treats? I made the right choice and did not bring her anything! I made a stand against obesity!
I could have done that project without her help, anyway. :-)
EDITORS NOTE: The attitudes within about overweight people do not reflect the author's. Thank you.
Second of all, I help obese people-UGH! Obese is such a long word. Do I really have to wright it out every time? Why don't I just call them fatties? Anyway, I help fatties feel good about themselves. You will never hear me tell fat jokes or use derogatory, discriminatory terms to refer to them.
Speaking of derogatory, I'm sick of feeling discriminated against! Except for my followers, everyone labels dictators as "evil." Haven't they ever considered that dictating is a service to the world? And isn't it a bit too hasty to make generalizations about them when only so many of them have been corrupt? What about Caesar? If he weren't a decent guy, then why is his name used for marketing? He looks amiable enough on the pizza box and the salad dressing.
I also help fatties to accept themselves. Let's face it, nobody is as curvy and thin as I am! I help fatties accept this. By doing this, I save them a ton of stress.
Lastly, I help them to make good choices. There's a fatty in my church who is well, fat. But she's super nice and pious! She never misses an opportunity to serve others. Recently, she helped me on a project for my online school. She put so much effort into helping me succeed! So I decided to make some cookies and give them to her. After some afterthought, I decided against it. This lady really doesn't need more food. What kind of ruthless human being would tempt her with delectable treats? I made the right choice and did not bring her anything! I made a stand against obesity!
I could have done that project without her help, anyway. :-)
EDITORS NOTE: The attitudes within about overweight people do not reflect the author's. Thank you.
Starting small
I am on the verge of ruling a small, obscure country that you have probably never heard of!
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