Obesity is quite an issue in our society. You will all be comforted to know that I am taking a stand against it! First of all, my perfect figure serves as a role model to all!
Second of all, I help obese people-UGH! Obese is such a long word. Do I really have to wright it out every time? Why don't I just call them fatties? Anyway, I help fatties feel good about themselves. You will never hear me tell fat jokes or use derogatory, discriminatory terms to refer to them.
Speaking of derogatory, I'm sick of feeling discriminated against! Except for my followers, everyone labels dictators as "evil." Haven't they ever considered that dictating is a service to the world? And isn't it a bit too hasty to make generalizations about them when only so many of them have been corrupt? What about Caesar? If he weren't a decent guy, then why is his name used for marketing? He looks amiable enough on the pizza box and the salad dressing.
I also help fatties to accept themselves. Let's face it, nobody is as curvy and thin as I am! I help fatties accept this. By doing this, I save them a ton of stress.
Lastly, I help them to make good choices. There's a fatty in my church who is well, fat. But she's super nice and pious! She never misses an opportunity to serve others. Recently, she helped me on a project for my online school. She put so much effort into helping me succeed! So I decided to make some cookies and give them to her. After some afterthought, I decided against it. This lady really doesn't need more food. What kind of ruthless human being would tempt her with delectable treats? I made the right choice and did not bring her anything! I made a stand against obesity!
I could have done that project without her help, anyway. :-)
EDITORS NOTE: The attitudes within about overweight people do not reflect the author's. Thank you.
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