Welcome to the world! NOW STEP ASIDE AS I DOMINATE IT!

My mother just had a baby boy! His name is Jean Val Johnson. He is child number 8 in our family, and we are very happy.

I'm just very saddened because he has a dream that can't coexist with mine.

He wants to be the president!



It all started when mom went shopping at Wal-Mart with him. I babysat the rest of my younger siblings so she didn't have to take them with her. I know, I know, how kind of me. Jean is related to me, so of course he's unbelievably gorgeous! Naturally, when my mom goes out, other customers flock around to adore him. One of them was a lady who asked mom if he was her first child. Mom replied that he was her eighth, and her face went zucchini green. It should have been in envy, but it was in disgust. "WHAT ARE MY TWO SONS GOING TO USE FOR TOILET PAPER ONCE YOUR DAUGHTERS USE IT ALL UP???" and with that, she stormed off.

Mom says that her kids will solve the world's problems so the toilet paper thing won't matter.

Undoubtedly, she was referring to my CONQUERING THE WORLD. But Jean Val Johnson seems to think that this applies to him and wants to become president. Of course, he hasn't said this, being an infant and all, but I can see it in his eye. And Mom got him that onesie! (Shown above.)

Oh, Jeanie! You'd be a great president and all, but that can't happen after I CONQUER THE WORLD!!!! I'm doing it for your own good and everyone else's, little guy. Please understand.