Simple as in all I need to be happy is to dominate the world.
Or really?
In the great musical Wicked, the witch Glenda asks the question, "Is happy what happens when all your dreams come true?"
Well, yeah, if your dreams are specific enough. If you leave anything out, then when they come true you'll still be missing something. The universe has an inconvenient habit of twisting our words so that we're hopelessly unhappy.
Example; if I were to say that I want ice cream, then the oh-so-tricky universe will make it so that I get ice cream, but will it be the high quality treat that I so crave? No, it will be a cheap, mediocre excuse that barely meets the qualifications necessary to be classified as ice cream! By definition it would be ice cream, (flavored frozen milk fat), but it wouldn't be ice cream. So instead of saying "I want ice cream," I say, "I want Tillomook brand chocolate peanut butter ice cream with hot fudge and caramel. And when I say hot fudge and caramel, I mean that there should be a ratio of 3 spoonfuls of each for every bite of ice cream."
People often think that my mission statement is simply to dominate the world. But it's actually far more specific, so that the universe can't taunt me by having me dominate the world but die an agonizing death two days afterwards.
No comments:
Post a Comment