DOMINATING THE WORLD: part I

I know that I have not posted for ten days. I apologize for this, my adoring followers. I know how long, dreary, and empty those days have been for you. But alas, here I am! I am back with a progress report.

You see, my unfathomably genius mind has been devising a plan for the first step of me CONQUERING THE WORLD!!!! (My delicate pinkie isn't sore from pressing the shift button whenever I type CONQUERING THE WORLD any more because one of my loyal and devoted  followers introduced me to the "caps lock" button.)

I've decided to start with  CONQUERING MY TOWN'S SCHOOL DISTRICT!!! Our school district needs conquering. I'm home schooled  because the district proved to be incapable of fulfilling my superior mind's needs. Who better to CONQUER THE SCHOOL DISTRICT than me?

So, I wrote this letter to the school board:

Dear Sirs:

Undoubtedly, you have heard of me from my rapidly increasing followers. Perhaps you have read my blog, which I am sure is becoming an immensely popular phenomenon. Behold, it is I, your future world dictator!!!

My plan to DOMINATE THE WORLD is inevitable, it will happen with or without your assistance. But here I am, asking for it. I demand that you hand over your precious district to me, seeing as you have failed to run it properly. If you don't comply, a disaster beyond your wildest dreams will occur!

If my wishes are met, you can keep your six figure income.

Your future dictator,

Rosetta Ever Johnson


The school board has not yet responded to my letter! How dare they keep me waiting?! They probably just don't take me seriously because I'm home schooled.